Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash
Dear Michael Patrick King,
WTF? You killed Big?! After watching Big and Carrie do the break-up make-up dance for six years, when they are finally living in bliss in an apartment they can actually afford? To top it off, he dies on a Peloton?! Not even while making sweat dripping love to the sex writer of his dreams. Come on now, Mr. King, how could you kill off the sexiest man on TV since The Fonz (I said what I said)? Betrayal is what it is. Betrayal, Mr. King.
Okay, got that off my chest. It’s going to be alright. We can fix this.
I have ideas.
First. A dream. It worked in the 80s. Dallas is one of the most iconic series of all time. No one questioned The Dream. Pam Ewing, known for hitting the sauce, passed out, nightmared that she flattened Bobby with his Mercedes, woke up, found him singing in the shower.
Totally believable.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Imagine the moment Carrie finds smirking Big alive! Don’t think I need to spell out what happens next.
Second. You see Sliding Doors? Movie with Brad’s ex, you know, flowery vagina lady? Shoot another year, but this time, Big steps out of his limo from the other side of the car (not into traffic), jets off to The Hamptons with Carrie, where they have a passionate weekend of sex on the sand, returning to The City in time to meet Charlotte and Harry for Sunday night Cosmos.
Fans will go crazy.
Last one, my fave. Four words. Back. To. The. Future. Yep. That’s right. Time travel. Carrie goes back in time (you’re the writer, you figure it out). Stays with Big for a puttering around the penthouse afternoon, he jumps on his Peloton.
Few minutes in, he keels over, heart stops, only THIS TIME, she’s ready! Pulls her defibrillator from her Gucci bag, Bam Bam Bam, he jumps back to life. They live happily ever after.
Or at least until season two.
What you think, Mr. King?
Let’s do this.
I see Emmys, Kid.
M.R. Mandell (she/her) is a writer living in Los Angeles. You can find her work in Chill Subs, Boats Against the Current, The Final Girl Bulletin Board, Dorothy Parker’s Ashes, JAKE, Roi Fainéant, and others. Forthcoming: Stanchion Zine, Anti-Heroin Chic, and Fine Print.
