I’m a test tube baby. When I would cry as an infant, my parents dangled me upside down until I stopped crying and fell asleep like a bat. Now, I have to spend nine hours a day asleep in a headstand. My pool’s inflatable. My neighbors are all old men. My role model growing up was Ivan from Brothers Karamazov. That’s probably why my highschool girlfriend left me for a college kid from Dartmouth. She was my first love. She got mad at me once, when I didn’t believe Zelda Fitzgerald was the true author of The Great Gatsby. She got mad at me again, when I asked her to be in my school project porno. She doesn’t like my headstands. My dad’s always away on business trips. I have always known exactly what I want to do with my life.

KT Baughman currently goes to school at Fordham University in New York. Her work can be found or is forthcoming in MoonPark Review, Star 82 Review, and The Broadkill Review. She edits Nine Muses Review.