NEW Fiction from Michael Koenig. What if you had a clone? That would be weird. What if that clone turned out to be Justin Bieber? That would be weirder.
“He looks just like you, when you were that age,” Laura says, based on the pictures my mother showed her last Christmas. She always knows the wrong thing to say, doesn’t she? When I was Julian’s age, I was getting beat up by a gang of idiots in high school, not singing pop ditties all over Europe.
NEW Fiction from H.R. Sinclair introduces us to a never-before-seen character from the world of A.A. Milne and Winnie the Pooh.
"...in which we are introduced to Hans and some berries, and the story begins"
Nate Tower's short story of an entirely new form of social gathering: "The Abortion Party".
Jared had to look at the invitation three times before he understood what it said. Even then, he wasn't quite sure he believed it. He brought it to his wife Deborah and asked what she thought.
"What the hell is a 'Pregnancy Termination party'?" he asked her.
"Oh, did we get Sherry's invite today?" Deborah responded, reaching out in anticipation.
NEW Fiction from Joe Miller: "One-Eyed Jack", a short story of luck and chance in a casino.
"Ace of clubs, King of clubs, Queen of clubs, the 3 of diamonds, and the 10 of clubs. Jack of clubs is all I need to win big. I hold my breath. Then, I hold all four of the clubs, delicately pressing the backlit “Hold” button under each card. This could be it."
A demon burst out of the house, screaming in a language that chilled our teeth to the roots. Its many wings beat the night air. We clambered out of the blue, skin tearing off our fingers and knuckles and knees. We leapt the fence as the demon leapt into the pool with a soul-wrenching crash as if it meant to open a portal to hell behind us. I ran without looking back. A fear overtook me so powerful I started laughing. I sprinted aimlessly in the dark, laughing from terror.
Although I was vice president of Kristen’s five-person “Metaphysics Club” in high school, I was neither a “crystal” nor an “indigo child of the millennium.” According to her, I just had a “puke green aura” and good penmanship, which earned me the job of recording the number of demons she saw each week. This was hard to keep track of, as they vanished and reappeared with “shifting faces.” Kristen despised quiet and cerebral “crystal children,” almost as much as she hated Latinos, not realizing that her best friend and second-in-command was the latter.
Reg got into the car. Meg climbed in beside him. He started to drive. He could still see the balloon. It was a bright red dot against the blush-grey sky. He imagined that it would quickly come down with the weight of the ring in it. He would have to buy her a new ring, if that was the case. Or maybe it was an omen?
"Why did you get a balloon?" Meg said. "It isn't my birthday."
"I need that one," Reg said.
"It's okay. I like flowers more than balloons anyway."
"I needed that balloon."
"What special about that balloon?" she said.
Upon arrival, sign your name on the sign-in sheet and grab your nametag. Place it on your forehead. While you are waiting for the rest of the ladies to arrive and sign in, please enjoy a complimentary cup of coffee. That is, please enjoy a single complimentary cup of coffee. Subsequent cups of coffee will not be complimentary.
She dialed 9-1-1 and frantically looked for the nearest mile marker while waiting for the operator.
"9-1-1 dispatch, what's your emergency?" came a voice neither friendly nor urgent. This dispatcher expected no emergency.
"There's a shoe in the middle of the interstate. A very nice shoe. Not like a ratty old shoe," Marie blabbered.
"Come again?" the voice even less urgent than before.
When I awoke alone in the chair, my mouth felt different. At first I couldn’t really feel anything, but then I began to wiggle my tongue around, searching for my teeth. As I was exploring, the dentist returned, sans mask.
“How’s it feel?” he asked with a smile, his curly mullet flowing freely.
“I fees weir,” I mumbled.
“Not surprising. That was the first time I’ve ever done anything that extreme. I’ll have to monitor how you react closely.” He approached as he spoke, flashlight in hand. “Now open up wide.”
