Hello and welcome, ladies and gentlemen. I know you’re here for one reason and one reason only. You want to get rich, right?! You want to get rich, and you’re here to learn my secret. And my secret to personal wealth is, you know what it is, say it with me: “Bulldoze the community center!”
I don’t watch television. Sure, I own one, but I only use it for the occasional National Geographic DVD from the library. Maybe I’ll watch it on special occasions or when something important is happening like a national election, but I really hardly ever even turn it on. And I certainly don’t watch reality television. I don’t even know the names of any of those shows. There’s one about New Jersey, right?
Yes, I did! My two friends are going to be so psyched when I tell them about my weather balloon. I can see it now. They’ll just be sitting around in the break room. Then I’ll come in and they’ll start packing up their stuff like they always do, but this time I’ll surprise them. I’ll say something clever like, “Who has two thumbs and a weather balloon?”
